Ian Guthridge.com

Lazy Post

by Ian on Sep.06, 2009, under Projects, Stories

So I have finally gotten some old projects off of my archival hard drive, and on it I had an earlier draft of a story I had posted a few months ago.  The original version is a little rougher but has much better pacing, and the friends I have shown it prefer it to my revision.  I had gotten a little wordy with my redo for the sake of clarity.  Since all of my other projects are currently way behind schedule, and nothing fruitful will be yielded from them to present to you, I will post the original.  Let me know which you like better.

The aspirin tablets rattled loudly as he fumbled open the child proof cap in the dark. “God damn useless overly-complicated piece of plastic, why… won’t… you… fucking… OPEN!” he screamed. The cap sailed across the room amidst the tinkling of the precious medication raining on the cold linoleum.

It took all his energy to remain standing as wave after wave of pain cut through his skull. He quickly chocked down the promise of relief before collapsing to the floor as if his strings had been suddenly severed. The doctor had told him it was dangerous, that he was too old for the implant, that the stress could kill him.

But he needed it. He couldn’t keep up with them. The kids at the office, they could…

Another wave of pain, so intense he could feel it in his teeth. Lightning ricocheted around his skull. He slowly crawled, his sporadically convulsing muscles only slightly more effective than gelatin, towards the phone. Lacking the strength to reach it, he feebly shook the table where it perched. After an agonizing eternity the small plastic device clattered to the floor. He dialed 9…1…

He tasted blood…

Followed promptly by nothing.

“CLEAR!” Jolt. Pain. Nothing.

“CLEAR!” Jolt. Pain. Nothing.

“CLEAR!” Jolt. Pain…

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